I didn't really know Carlin.
The news of his passing triggered me to look at some of his stuff, i think he was a great comedian. i really love his performance, his storytelling.
I also discovered that Carlin was famous for his quotes, some of them i knew but never knew they were from him, here are some:
-Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
-Always do whatever's next.
-May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
-Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
-"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
-The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live
-Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
-Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
-“The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
-Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
-One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
-When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
-When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
-Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
-When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
-You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
-You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
-Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
Kathleen